doctor's appointments - me and my car , time off from work . afetr awhile it has gotten so old . the thing is ,there isnt any help . her relatives are elderly . if i vent too much , i fell guilty as hell . i never mention this in her presence . what the hell to do ??
Answer:
You aren't being very clear, about who you're caring for...but, as a nurse, I can tell you caring for others is hard work. Not always are you appreciated. Some folks have hit and bit me, over the years. Some have said, "Thank you", others have said "F*ck you!". But, for the most part, I know I am making my mark on mankind...some day I'll be old, and I pray to all the spirits, that i will have someone as kind as me, to care for me in my time of need.
If you cannot handle the burdens placed upon you, then you need to find a replacement.
contact a social worker and get resources. It's not easy for you i'm sure, but it is commendable... but don't strees yourself (financially) over this, also, you could see about having a nurse or other person come in on a daily basis to help feed, change, bathe etc
Find other accomodations for her and find a new job. Im sure that your state of mind isn't good for either of you and the quality of your work probably suffers unnoticed by you...
This is going to sound corny but take comfort in knowing that you are doing something good for someone else without any compensation. You're just manning up and doing what you HAVE to do. Kudos to you. I'm sure you are an inspiration to some people/neighbors/co-workers and I'm also sure that God smiles on you for doing what you do for the people in your household.
And what is the problem? Did you not choose this line of work? Who are you to "vent" at this family anyway? You are obviously capable of seeking other employment because not just everyone can become a caregiver, there is much schooling and clinics involved.
Now, are you psycho and not registered but helping these people out and turning on them?
I do not understand how you can take a job like this and then be so pitiful.
You need to take some time ans sit down and right out your list of things you do. This incledes taking her groceries (which you are buying on your own time) to taking her to D's and such. You have probably only been hired to be there x amont of hours/day. After you have compiled your list eview it very carefully and see what you are doing that is extra. Then is the time to calmly talk to her relatives ( or herself) if she id competent. Outine what you are doing and either ask for more money for the grocery duties and stuff a or ask for time off in return for doing these things. It is not unreasonable to ask about gas money either these days. Also it might be trouble if you get in a car accident with her in your car. Your insurance company may raise a stink because you are not insured to be a "company" vechile.
It's unclear who you are giving care to and if this is a relative of yours. If this person is eligible for Medicaid and/or Medicare, she may also be eligible for a certain number of hours of home health care. Depending on her condition, a home health aide and/or home health nurse can come in on specified days to give you respite care.
Another possibilty is placement in a facility. I can't mention a specific type - rehab, skilled nursing, long-term care - because I don't know anything about the person you care for. Again, she would need coverage by Medicaid or Medicare in order to pay. Be forewarned that Medicaid pays for only 100 days a year and after that the financial burden is shared by the family.
It's perfectly normal for you to have a need to vent and to feel resentment at times. You should not feel guilty. The care should not rest on your shoulders alone.
I suggest you look into this as soon as possible as it takes times for the application process to be approved.
Are you related to this woman, or are you just a caring acquaintance? I know it can be a pain in the butt to be the only one that someone cant count on. But think of her. As you said there is noone else. Someday all you have done for her will come back your way. You are a good human being for being selfless. And if you need to vent sometimes, well you are human. Even if her relatives are elderly there is a certain amount that they could do to chip in. If one drives, have them pick her up for doctors visits, and they can have an outing together. Also there are services such as meals on wheels, and alot of people qualify for this service. They will bring meals to her when you cannot. Also there are different charities organized through certain church's that actually do chores for the elderly that cannot do them for themselves. Such as grocery shopping, personal care, (such as a hairdresser day, and clothing shopping or take them to bingo) And transportation to a from doctors visits. Contact local churches and see if these services are offered. You might get a volunteer to help you out. I personally thank you for being a responsible and kind person, if more were like you this world would be a better place.
you need to vent to a relative and say how unappreciated you feel. you need to say, "What if I didn't bring this?", "Would You?" Yeah right.. Is probably your answer. Right! How come you're the only one who cares what happens to this person? VENT,,, VENT! I'm telling you things will happen when you say Your done!
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