It doesn't matter what I ask this employee to do, another way of doing the task is suggested. I'm not exaggerating when I say, "without fail" this is the case. I am not rude in my response and often ask this employee what is the reasoning behind their suggestion and how is it better? I listen and then make a final decision. Sometimes I have taken the suggestion and sometimes I haven't. On occasion the employee who is taller than I, will intently enter "my space"...not alot, but somewhat, to question a final decision. There is an "air" of anger and "how could you be so stupid"? I continue to hold my ground without giving the impression, I'm ruffled. This employee is a relative of a friend and they are thrilled this employee would have the opportunity for this experience; however, it is "wearing" to have the constant challenge. Does anyone know of a "disability" or personality disorder that is associated with this kind of pronounced behavior?
Answer:
There is so many personality disorder, i would not know where to start. This person may not have a personality disorder, it could just be the way they are, and they want to prove how smart they are, and some people just think that they are always right. You may have to let this person go, even if they are a relative of a friend. You really do not need the added stress that this person is causeing. Have a talk with them and lay down some rules for them, and tell them you are only going to give them so many warreing, and you are their boss they are not yours. they need ot listen to you.
be more assertive when you deal with person, and let them know, this is not going to keep up, if they do not change their attiude.
roll it off your back, there are 2 people at my work like this, too. the best thing is to ignore the behavior, not the people. we spend too much time at work w/each other to let it bother you too badly. im a strong personality, too, and find its too hard to try to clash. it really does work.
Perhaps the employee wants to be the boss not the one to take direction?
Since you are the one in charge, how about sitting the employee down, in a slightly lower elevation than yourself. Even if they sit in a chair and you on a desk. You decide the location. Tell them that their constant questioning of direction is not always welcome or necessary. Perhaps you can ask them to put in a written report periodically if they want to raise new ways of doing things but in the meantime you ask them to just follow direction.
I would bring him or her into my office. Make sure their is a much smaller chair for them than the one you are sitting in. If your chair has a height level extend it to the maximum height. Have paperwork written up documenting your meeting and discuss your disapproval with their actions. Let it be known on no uncertain terms that you are their Superior and are the one in charge around there,Explain that this is their first warning on this. that you do value them and their ideas but in the end you are the one who makes the final decisions,If this behavior does not stop bring them in again and write up a final warning. 3rd time is termination.
Why do people always look for the least likely answer or try to excuse bad behavior by classifying it as a "disorder? This guy is challenging your authority because he thinks you are stupid and he thinks he could do your job better than you could - Simple, eh? You know this but yet you look for an excuse for this clown. If it's as bad as you say then you need to tell him that his actions are bothering you and why they are bothering you - wait and see, once you do he will get defensive and start projecting the problem as just being your imagination - then you can take the stance that YOU are the BOSS and that if he does not like it he can quit. I advise documenting the encounter and all subsequent confrontations with this employee as well - just make sure he knows that you are documenting them and provide him with an oportunity to write down his side of the story.
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